The month of April was supposed to be a joyous one for the Butler family – taking a two-week family vacation and celebrating the 60th birthday of the matriarch of the family.
Instead, those plans had to be canceled due to the lady of the family falling ill and eventually passing away in the midst of the spread of COVID-19 here in The Bahamas. Michelle Butler didn’t die from the dreaded coronavirus, but the manner in which her case was handled, and the restrictions imposed on access and visitation rights, served as an eerie reminder of the danger and nature of the pandemic.
Butler, 59, passed away at midday on Monday, April 6, from complications suffered from rheumatoid arthritis – a chronic inflammatory disorder that can affect much more than just a person’s joints. She was diagnosed with the disorder about three weeks before she passed and was admitted to hospital about 48 hours before she succumbed to the deadly disease.
Michelle’s husband of 35 years, Anthony, spoke of the final painstaking 48 hours of his wife’s life when he was unable to interact with her and spend time with her because of the restrictions imposed as a result of the presence of COVID-19.
“It was extremely hard. The reason why she was admitted to hospital is because her sugar had skyrocketed, but we figured that she would go up there, get some insulin and then they would release her and she would come home with us,” he said. “That Friday night she was in tremendous pain, and that Saturday when the ambulance came for her, they wouldn’t allow Anthia (eldest daughter) to ride with us. When we got to the hospital they allowed Anthia to come up to the ambulance and say a final prayer over her mom and kiss her and tell her she loves her.
“Anthia wasn’t allowed to go in the hospital with her. I went in A&E (Accident and Emergency Department) and was in there holding her hand, comforting her and about 30 minutes after that, the nurse informed me that the protocol required that I leave. The last thing I did was kiss my wife on her forehand and put the sign of the cross on her, and tell her that I love her. That was the last time that I was able to be with my wife.”
Anthony said he took solace in knowing that his wife was in good hands and being properly looked after and cared for up until her passing, but it doesn’t ease the pain of her untimely death and being unable to spend her final hours on earth with her. For Anthia, the entire ordeal was extremely painful because she had been self-isolating from her family so as to not risk exposure to COVID-19 and follow the guidelines of the government of The Bahamas and health officials on social distancing.
“I decided to social distance myself from my mom because I don’t live with my parents and I knew that she had a compromised immune system. The last thing I wanted to do was to make her sick,” said Anthia. “Some days I would come and just talk to her through the window and she would ask me to come inside and sit on the bed with her. I told her that I loved her too much to risk exposure to COVID-19. I had to social distance myself from her, but whatever she needed I tried to provide. Almost every day I would drop off a big pot of soup to the house to make sure that her and my dad ate. We just thought that she was in pain but would be getting better.
“When I saw my mom on Friday night, I just noticed that she looked completely different, so I just got some medical supplies and made a big pot of soup. My mom asked me to stay with her for the night, but I said that I can’t because of the lockdown and the self-isolation. I told her that I had to get home, but I promised her that Monday morning I would have my bag packed and I would move into the guest room and spend however much time she wanted me to be there.”
A teary-eyed Anthia, who was exposed to others because of her job, said her mother died the same day she was scheduled to complete her 14-day self isolation, and the same day she promised to go and be by her side.
“This hurts so bad because I wanted to follow the COVID-19 order, but if I had known how sick my mommy was, I would have spent those final moments with her,” said Anthia.
Michelle was tested for COVID-19 the Saturday she was admitted and the result came back negative that Monday – the same day she died and the same day Anthia was scheduled to end her self-isolation.
“We knew that she didn’t have COVID-19 because we were home for about two weeks and none of us had any symptoms, but because of what was going on, she was treated and placed in isolation as if she was a COVID-19 patient,” said Anthony. “That Monday, we were asked to come to the hospital right away, but they only allow two of us to go in. This whole situation is so heartbreaking. I could only imagine the dozens of families who are going through this same emotional pain and grief. A lot of people are going through the same challenge in terms of not being able to be with their loved ones in their final hours. My prayer each morning is God is with us. He is a God of awesomeness and wonder and we just have to trust Him and allow Him to do His will and we will all be alright.”
The weekend prior to Butler’s passing was the initial weekend of the government-ordered lockdown in the country, making it even more difficult for the Butler family to seek private care for Michelle and obtain much-needed supplies. Anthia said she had to make an emergency call just to get clearance to be on the road to be there with her mom when she was admitted.
“I got stopped by so many police and I would cry at every stop and just tell them that my mom was being rushed to the hospital by ambulance,” she said. “When I got to the hospital, I begged them to let me inside but they wouldn’t let me in. At that time, I saw the ambulance racing past and I just figured that must be the ambulance that she was in. I ran to my car and chased the ambulance as fast as I could. The security allowed me to park on the side of the ambulance and when they brought her out, I just hugged her and kissed her and prayed with her and told her that I loved her. I told her that they are not letting us in, but I need her to be strong and as soon as they give us the clearance, we would come and see her and be with her.”
That was the final time Anthia saw her mom alive. She and her siblings Jamaal, Ashley and Ashton all attended St. Augustine’s College (SAC), and were all involved in sports in some capacity. Jamaal was a quarter-miler and competed collegiately at Texas Tech University; Ashley represented The Bahamas in swimming at the CARIFTA level, at one point winning gold in the short sprints and earning the title of fastest female 11-12 swimmer in the region; and youngest sibling Ashton played baseball and was a long and triple jumper. Ashton competed collegiately at Florida State University (FSU). Mother Michelle was there every step of the way in full support of all of her kids.
Oldest son Jamaal said: “My entire track career was guided by my mother, and she was always there to support me in many ways. She made a lot of commitment and sacrifice to see me do as well as I could do. Many times I ran with her in mind. She was a motivator and encouraged me. She had more faith in me than I did in myself and kept it real. She enjoyed to see me compete and she enjoyed to see me having fun. She guided me every step of the way and she was definitely a motivator and everything that you would want from a mother. At the end of the day, I just wanted to show her that the sacrifice she made, I would do my part on the track and compete to the best of my ability.”
Swimmer Ashley said: “Mommy meant the world to me. She gave me strength and she was my protector. She was my momma bear. She would always say that you have to work hard for everything you wanted and if you do that, you would get whatever you put your mind to. In swimming, she was my biggest supporter. She wanted the world for me and she made me feel like I had the world at my fingertips. She made supporting each other as a family really fun and exciting, and that’s how she was in other parts of life as well. She made me into the woman who I am today. I’m fortunate to hear her say she loves me and she’s proud of everything I accomplished. I love her dearly and I will definitely miss her in my life.”
The youngest of the four, Ashton, said: “My mother was one of my biggest supporters when it came to me and my sporting career. She was always there for motivation but she was also my biggest critic. Sometimes I would think so deeply about how I could make her proud. One weekend when she and my dad came and surprised me at conference championships, that motivated me to go out there and set a personal record in the triple jump and come fourth at the ACC (Atlantic Coast Conference) Championships. At that time, I was ranked at number 16 in the country so it was a huge deal for her to be there and support me. She was definitely a big role [model] in my life in academics and athletics. It was just an unbelievable experience for her to always be there and to support me so much. I just want to say that I love her and I know that she is looking down on us. We will continue to make her proud.”
Since Michelle’s passing, Anthia said that they are doing all that they can to memorialize their mother and alert others of the hospital restrictions as it relates to spending time with their loved ones who might be ill.
“While mommy did not die from COVID-19, we definitely experienced the restrictions applied to those with family members who passed from it,” said Anthia. “In that vein, we are imploring people to stay indoors and let’s get this thing under control. This is a serious thing and we want to be able to help those who have been affected by COVID-19, and let them know that they are not alone. This is very emotional for us, but the outpouring of love and condolences have brought us a great deal of comfort during this painful time. We want everyone to know that mommy was light and love, the hostess with the mostest. She loved family, and family to her was anyone who was a part of her life and the lives of her husband and children.”
It’s been a devastating two-year period for Anthia and her siblings. They lost their grandmother (Michelle’s mother, Sheila Rolle) in November of 2018 and now have to deal with the passing of their mother.
“We feel blessed to know that we now have two beautiful souls in heaven watching over us,” said Anthia. “Despite our pain, we love and trust God all the more. He is a good God, a father, a comforter and a friend. We could not be with mommy in her final 48 hours, but we know that He (God) was in the room. We are empathetic to every family that has experienced the added pain of grieving the loss of a loved one due to current COVID-19 restrictions that do not allow family gatherings, proper burials and simply the peace of being in the room. Our prayers, warm thoughts and love go out to them.”
Michelle will be laid to rest after a short private ceremony today, again with heavy restrictions due to the order imposed by the government in the face of COVID-19. Only 10 people, including Anthony and the four children, are allowed to attend.
“This is very difficult because mommy has a number of sisters and some of them won’t be allowed to attend. Some can’t even travel to The Bahamas because of the travel restrictions,” said Anthia. “There are other close family members and friends who won’t be able to attend. It’s difficult but we want to abide by the law. My mom loved welcoming people into her home and was just a generous, fun-loving person with a warm heart, so there are many who want to pay their respects during this time but unfortunately they can’t be present. I just want to say that we appreciate all the words of encouragement and condolences and we trust God that all will be well.”
Michelle was set to celebrate her 60th birthday on April 26 – two days after she will be laid to rest. A European family vacation was planned, leaving on April 7 and returning on April 18, at which time they planned to celebrate Michelle’s 60th birthday. Unfortunately, that trip had to be canceled. Even up to the time when she passed, Anthia said they were still in the process of planning a surprise 60th birthday celebration for their mother and just celebrating life.
The Butler family will never get that opportunity, but they thank God every day for the moments they shared with the matriarch of the family, stating that God is now giving her the best vacation ever and throwing her the most jubilant birthday party up in heaven.
Michelle is survived by her husband, Anthony, and four children, Anthia (34), Jamaal (31), Ashley (28) and Ashton (25). May her soul rest in peace.
The post Butler family mourns matriarch during COVID-19 appeared first on The Nassau Guardian.
source https://thenassauguardian.com/2020/04/24/butler-family-mourns-matriarch-during-covid-19/
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